Me, asking for a hockey-themed Valentine: "To Audrey, our love was once a power play, but now the penalty box is where I'll stay. Our love turned cold, just like the ice, and now I'm skating away in sacrifice. You used to be my goal, my shining star, but now I'm the goalie, guarding my heart from afar. I thought our love had the perfect score, but now all I feel is checked and sore. So here's my break-up slapshot, straight from the heart, goodbye Audrey, it's time for us to part."

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